about our home

For the past few weeks, the thing that's been on my mind the most, the thing I've wanted to write about the most is: the house. The one that Colin and I are about to buy together. But I've avoided writing about it mostly because I didn't want to get my hopes up. I didn't want to get anyone else's hopes up. A lot can go wrong between now and Monday. (That's when we're supposed to close).

Still... I can't stop thinking about that house. It's beautiful. And it's almost ours. Almost.

We've been watching episode after episode of renovation shows on HGTV to get ideas. We've been dreaming about how we'll decorate it. What kind of style? Do we agree on style? (Thank God we discovered we do.) We even went furniture shopping over the tax-free weekend. Window shopping, that is—we didn't buy anything. $6000 for a sofa? Holy crap. We got lots of ideas.

But the whole idea of buying a place together can be very overwhelming. And as I sit here in our lovely little apartment overlooking the lake with our friendly landlord and our friendly neighbors, I already feel nostalgic for this place we've called home for the last two years.

This apartment will be a landmark in my memories. It was our first place together, Col and I. We moved in together after dating for a year. We were fresh with anticipation of what was in store. We realized how much we have in common. We discovered ways to deal with the differences—to enjoy them. We loved playing house. We became much, much closer. That's around when we started a tradition of stopping at Ikea on the way home from his parents' house in New York. Just to get ideas. And to fantasize. And sometimes buy things when we were feeling rich.

Of course, home is a lot more than the material things—and it's a lot more than owning property. But owning a house—our very own—will be a very significant step for me. When I was young, our family moved around a lot. We lived in some pretty cool houses and some pretty crappy ones. Sometimes we had to move, just because the landlord sold the house. Thankfully, we always had a roof over our heads, but there was a constant, uneasy feeling in the back of my mind that we would somehow be uprooted again.

We lived through those years, and I believe we're the better for it. Because now that we're about to buy, I feel especially proud. Very proud. And now that we're about to move, I don't at all feel that we're being uprooted. We're taking a big step towards being more permanent. And that is a good feeling.