I don't read parenting books

I work with some amazing people. Many of them are full-time working parents. On any given day, you can walk into the staff kitchen during lunch and witness some of the most interesting conversations about parenting: discipline, spousal relationships, work life balance, potty training, healthy cooking, sickness. You name it. There's usually banter, since not only are my colleagues smart and multifaceted, but they're also passionate and opinionated.

Today the lively conversation was about a parenting book called duct tape something or other. I missed the beginning of the conversation and I missed much of the middle and end, to be honest, because I found myself sucked in to obversing the conversation unfold. One was trying to give advice, based on what she'd read and had success with. Another had read 2 pages and was already skeptical, based on her own parenting experiences. Here I chimed in briefly, "you guys read parenting books?!"

People read parenting books?! One time last year in a moment of sleep-deprived desperation, I succumbed to a book on sleep. I didn't get very far, before I felt completely bewildered. None of the suggestions felt right. They felt too hard, too unnatural. And my baby rejected them too. As a new parent, it took all the courage within me to set aside self-doubt (and that dang book) and rely on my gut. And my baby. 

Sure there are nougats of truth in those books, but if you're a parent searching for answers or hard and fast rules, it's hard not to take the words of the "experts" for gospel and live by them without exception. And the problem there is that as a parent, with living breathing children, you will never fully live up to that gospel. You will ultimately make a mistake or veer from the path and feel like a failure.

I'd much prefer to observe my colleagues at the lunch table and pick and choose the parts that sound good. I'd much prefer to get advice from a friend who is in the same thick of it that I am. I'd much prefer to see how my sister handles a situation, and then choose my own variation. I'd much prefer to watch my own child's cues and let her help direct our path. To get and weigh and assess feedback from teachers. And see how my husband handles working through the trials. 

And make mistakes, but feel ok about it.

over the river and through the woods to Mindy's house we go!

A part from the few doctors visits, I have not been on a real car ride in over a month—Amelia never has. So yesterday, after a few false starts and wardrobe changes, we set out to visit our friend Mindy who lives in Jericho, a half hour away.

This was a new adventure that would require getting on the interstate and then driving on several back roads in the middle of nowhere with Amelia in the back seat. Thirty minutes seemed like eternity on the way out, and I gripped the steering wheel so hard, I had white knuckles by the time we got to Mindy's house. Amelia the little angel slept the whole way.

Mindy and her mom had prepared a delicious lunch for my sister Emma, all the kids and me. Lucky for me (who has given up dairy for the time being to see if it helps with the spit-up sitch), Mindy is a vegan cook with a delicious assortment of meals in her repertoire. She made us butternut squash lasagna with a creamy bechamel sauce made from almond milk, herbs and pine nuts. It was out of this world! Mindy's mum made a warm spinach salad with mushrooms that we gobbled up. Sapphie's favorite part was the tangy shallots that had soaked up all the dressing. For dessert, we had chocolate chip protein bars, which I've started making myself at home for a healthy snack to nibble on during the day. (Here's Mindy's recipe below.)

After lunch, we sat by the fire to chat. Mindy's expecting her first baby in March and as we sat there, her baby started kicking. I felt nostalgic for my pregnant days (I loved being pregnant!). Mindy and her mom had lots of questions about what they'd need during the first few weeks. I replied: Burp cloths! Diapers! Lots of onesies. And of course, my trusty sling. I'd be lost without it. Amelia slept the entire time to make up for the night before and everybody got a chance to hold her. She slept the whole way home. Oh, and she even took her pacifier for the first time! What was I even worried about?

Here's Mindy's power bar recipe:

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Protein Bars
Yield: 24 Bars

2 cups rolled oats

1 cup almond butter

2/3 cup hemp protein powder 

¼ cup maple syrup
1 t vanilla extract

½ cup applesauce

¼ cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (dairy-free)

1 teaspoon cinnamon

Pinch of salt

1. Roast the oats in the oven for 15-20 minutes at 350 F.
2. Cool oats, then combine all of the ingredients and stir well.
3. Spread the dough in a greased 9 X 13 glass dish and bake at 350 F for 20 minutes until golden brown. Cool before cutting.

gtg, always and forever

Let me tell you a little bit about my husband. He's in a gang. That's right: the Good Times Gang. He and his close group of friends have been in this gang together since they were practically tweenagers. GTG is about good times, all the time. It's about laughter, friendship and silliness. The guys are prolific in their silliness. They make movies together. They don crazy awkward costumes. They make tee-shirts. Some of the guys even started a band, Enormous Fun, to further the GTG cause (even though most of the songs in their repertoire are pretty depressing).

As a GTG girlfriend, and now wife, I've seen the GTG boys and wives live through a lot over the last few years. Through new jobs, new cities, weddings, children... there's been messy stuff too, but I won't go into that. This is, afterall, about Good Times.

Last weekend, the last of the GTG boys to get hitched, Spence, got married to an amazing gal, Court. We all went down to Newport, Rhode Island for the weekend to celebrate. It was as off-the-hook as we all anticipated. Not just because it was a gorgeous wedding with a gorgeous bride, or because the food was fantabulous and the dancing was insane. And the guests were so fun. It was all of those things. But it was also a GTG reunion. And when those boys get together, crazy things happen: Chewbacca might show up on the dance floor, a cardboard box and a guy in a 70s leisure suit may give a speech. 5 Fly Crew might show up and break dance at the reception. Your husband might do the worm. Or walk on his hands. Yes, it all happened.

Everyone's hearts were so full of happiness.

There are some people who might be intimidated or annoyed by their husband's friends. Not me. I hope GTG stays together forever, because they're keeping us all young (and goodness knows I am prone to turning into an old fart if I'm not careful). They may grow older, but they'll never grow up. And that's fine by me. Love you guys (and wives!).

back to the berry farm

Bluebug season is in full swing, so we went back to the berry farm bright and early this morning before the clouds burned off to pick a few pounds. We went with Emi, Kevin and Sapphie. Our friend Mindy is staying with them for the weekend and she came too. Then we met up with Michelle and G-boy when when we got there. It was a fun little party!

The blueberries were so prolific that all you had to do was cup your hand under a bunch, jiggle your fingers a bit and catch the harvest that tumbled down. Colin developed his own technique for this and gave me a lesson. We picked 8 pounds in less than an hour.

When the parents were cashing out, I hung out with kiddos by the Imagine boat. Then we all booked it back to Burlington to hit up the Farmer's Market and get to the Plum Lady before she sold out. It was actually the Plum Man this time. And his son whose job it is to cut off bits of plum for people to sample. I always take a bite even though I know I'm going to get some. Some of them are still a little tart, but soo0 good...

hamptons, friend time and some magic party fun

I realize that if I'm not careful this is going to become the blog of Penelope posting her pictures from different beach locations. So be it. It's summer, we're not taking a real vacation since we had the honeymoon and so to the beach on the weekends we go!

Our latest weekend trip was more than just your typical car-ride to visit friends. For one, we went a little further to East Hampton to visit my friend Brooskie and her husband Chris. For two, we didn't drive. We flew to New York and then took the train out to the Hamptons! How very grown up of us.

We brought the sun gods with us. And spent hours upons lovely hours lounging at the beach, dipping in the ocean, people watching. There was a lot to see, that's for sure. And on Friday, after a day soaking up sun and salt water, we were just craving some fresh seafood.

So we went to a local chowder house, ordered tons of yummy takeout and brought it to the beach where we built a fire, ate our dinner and sipped on champagne all under a beautiful moon with the waves crashing nearby. Yes, very magical! Afterwards we made s'mores.

Saturday: more beach, more swimming. Later, Chris busted out his Shelby Mustang and took us for a ride. Holy Cow! We rode that baby to their friends' house. The friends with a ton of kayaks. They took us out on the bay where we watched fireworks.

Could this weekend get any more magical? Why, yes it could!

Turned out that our friends Becca and Henry were out in East Hampton the same weekend. Becca was there for work doing some PR for Paul Rudd and his new movie Dinner for Schmucks. She put us on the guest list for the premiere afterparty, so after kayaking, we tailed it back to East Hampton in the Shelby, threw on our party outfits and showed up at an oceanside mansion UNfashionably late since the party was almost wrapping up, but we got a good hour in catching up with our friends, drinking free drinks and spotting celebrities (none of whom I knew or recognized, except for Paul Rudd who was sporting a gnarly beard).

The next day, Col and Chris woke up early, since there were finally waves and got a good morning in surfing. Meanwhile, Brooksie and I drove to Amagansett to the Hampton Chutney Co. and got breakfast dosas (an Indian crepe-like wrap with egg and cheese and lots of goodies plus chutney inside). For a drink, I got an iced cardamom coffee, which was pretty much one of the most amazing coffees I've ever had.

On the way back, Brooksie pointed Kelly "NYC Housewife" Bensimon's house (we saw her in person downtown just a few minutes later). Did a teeny weeny bit of shopping. Then went to Georgica beach to get a few more sun-hours before hopping back on the train to go home. Col and Chris surfed some more. I tried to read, but really all I wanted to do was lay there and soak it all in—how lucky we are to have such great friends, to be in such a beautiful place, to have the means and the time for little weekend get-aways like this. Amazing.

Here are a bunch of pics that Brooksie & Chris took. We were took busy doing nothing to take any of our own:

cape cod pics

We went to Cape Cod for 4th of July weekend to spend time with our friends Mark & Kathleen. What a beautiful weekend: got lots of beach time, biked from town to town, cooled down with shaved ice, finally met M&K's dog Miller who is awesome, saw The Graduation for the first time and saw this gigantic moth by the front door.

a goodbye & a good day

It's not often I make friends. I mean really good friends. I just don't have that outgoing personality. It takes me a long time to build relationships. I've learned that about myself. I guess I just guard my feelings a little too closely. So the friends I have—they mean a lot to me.

It makes it really hard to see them go. But I'm resigned to the fact that Burlington is a transient town. People just don't stay here forever, do they? It's a half-way house or stepping stone on the way to somewhere-town-not-here. Wonder if we'll go away too at some point?

I had to see one of my closest and dearest friends leave yesterday. She moved away for a bigger and better life in Chicago. I didn't actually see her leave. I couldn't even say goodbye (I hate goodbyes!). But we texted for a bit on Sunday and I'm glad we were texting and not talking so she couldn't see or hear that I was sobbing the whole time. I was a wreck. Dripping salty tears into the potato salad I was making for dinner...

My world here is shrinking, but hers is just opening up. So, there she goes. I don't blame her.

That was on Sunday. It was Colin's birthday. He had flown in from the West Coast that morning and was taking a cat nap during the whole episode. I washed my face with a cold washcloth. Then I woke him up and suggested we get out of the house and go do some fun things for his birthday. Like go pick out an old-but-new-to-him bike for his birthday at Old Spokes Home. We found a super cool yellow and black one that I had actually eyed the day before when I was scoping out the options. He loved it and we took it home then and there.

Then we went to the Berry Farm in Charlotte. That place is magical. It was the tail end of strawbug season, but we still managed to pick 7 pounds worth. Somewhere between the 3rd and 4th my mind was finally clear—and I was feeling better. After that we went over to the raspberry bushes and picked 3 pints there. I froze most of the berries at home. Blueberries are already ripe so we'll have to go back again soon, which is fine by me.

All weekend, I'd been planning and cooking for a special family night birthday dinner for Col—with all of his favorite foods. I got some grass-fed steaks from Laplatte Farm and marinated them in his favorite bourbon marinade. I grilled them to perfection if I don't say so myself. I made his favorite aforementioned creamy potato salad and Caesar salad with a homemade dressing. And that wasn't all! I made homemade mint chocolate chip ice cream from scratch. And it was dang good.

So all in all, after the goodbye, it was a good day. One friends goes (yet will stay in my heart!), and one friend returns to stay with me forever.

I'll miss you, my friend!!

nyc yippeee

The last time I was in New York was over a year ago to celebrate Mark and Kathleen's engagement. Over a year! They're married now. Now we're married too. We went back down to New York last weekend for another engagement party—this time for Spencer and Courtney.

I love going down to New York to see Courtney & Spence. They always show us a good time and bring us to some tasty restaurants.

On Friday night, we got in to the city and went for a late dinner at The Redhead. It's this tiny little gastropub in the East Village specializing in southern comfort food. We got snacks at the bar while we waited for a table: bacon peanut brittle (yes, believe it!), house-made potato chips and french onion dip. For dinner, I got a green goddess salad with fresh spring asparagus and peas. Then the most amazing shrimp and grits I've ever had, albeit a tad salty (Oh well, a little swell in the feet won't hurt, I reckon.) Colin got fried chicken and cornbread. Spence and Court got burgers.

And we all shared a taste of the buffalo-style sweetbreads. Tasted just like chicken! Mmm. I actually liked it.

Saturday morning for brunch, we went to The Breslin at the Ace Hotel. Another gastropub kind of meal, but with more of a Brit style. It was super excellent. Get this: segmented grapefruit with ginger sugar and mint. Grilled 3-cheese sandwich with ham and toad-in-the-whole egg. (That's what Spencer & Colin got. Insane.) I got yummy poached egg atop curried lentils. Can't remember what Court got.

We shopped around for a bit to walk off brunch. Walked through a farmer's market. Courtney left us to get ready for the party. It was hot and sunny—even in mid-March. I had to strip down to a tank top.

Lots of walking. Visited the Burton store in SoHo so Col could flex his muscles. Grabbed some Cuban coffee on the way home—iced cafe con leche. Papa would've loved it.

Then it was time to get ready!

We dolled ourselves up and headed to Gemma at the Bowery Hotel for the engagement party dinner. The others were there when we arrived. Everybody looked so pretty and dapper and ready for a good time. Couples were seated opposite each other. Very proper. We decided to get tons of little plates and pass them around. Perhaps I was distracted by the company and conversation, but I can't really remember much of what I ate. The one thing I do remember was the chicken pate, which was very good. And the atmosphere was lovely.

After dinner, we went to the Bowery Electric for the party. When we arrived, there were buckets with champagne all set out in a private room. There were cute little napkins printed with Spencer and Courtney's names. There were other guests too. We danced and danced and danced. Spencer's sister earned the official title of Breeze, rightfully so. I couldn't live up to that performance. Everything else went off pretty much without a hitch with some excitement mixed in: the prom queen bachelorette entourage crashing our party, a late-night excursion up to the rooftop, some karate kicks, a few cuts and scratches, and a purse full of hot sauce:


(I can't believe that's the only photo that came out from the entire weekend.)

Woke up the next morning. Grabbed some bagels, some hot coffee. And it was time to go. Already. Boo! We'll have to go back again real soon. Love you guys.

my best girls

My friend Kim just sent me this picture from last night. My sisters threw me the most amazing bachelorette dinner party with all my Burlington girls. I was on a cloud the entire night.



We all dressed up to the nines. Emi brought out her fine china and crystal. Emi & Hannah prepared a 5-course gourmet meal and each course was paired with a wine from a different country/girlfriend. It was very, very special. I feel so lucky. Love to all my girls. xoxo

a quiet morning

Today is Sunday, December 27. We go home today. We've been at Colin's parents in Katonah, New York since Thursday. I'm laying in bed, the sun is shining so bright into the window. And I'm thinking about the last week, the last month, the last year and, wow, I can't believe it's all over.

It's been a very good year, crowded mostly with wedding bells ringing in my head (but that's a good thing!). If I had to encapsulate this year in a single word, it would be: family. We've watched Baby Sapphire, a blessed child, grow and smile. Hannah came home. I've become closer with Colin's family and he with mine. We started family night—a weekly dinner every Sunday night with Emi, Kev, Hannah and sometimes Sapphire when she's awake, sometimes Isaac, sometimes others—that I believe has made us closer. Despite one special family member passing the year before, I've seen more of my auntie Lucy and uncle John—and that makes up for it a little bit.

Some friends have become family: my girlfriends, the Kouris (Kevin's clan) opened their doors to us for Sapphire's dedication, Thanksgiving and many other times too. Friends and family had babies, got married, got engaged, got pregnant. Colin and I have just a few weeks left and then we will be married.

As for special memories and accomplishments: one of my favorites is the road-trip that Colin and I took to Prince Edward Island this summer for a friend's wedding. The trip was long, the stay was short, but all in all fantastic. I will never forget that trip. We worked on the house a little bit more, painted more rooms. I became a better snowboarder. My sister Emma got her Ph.D. Hannah began a new phase of her life: on her way to become the best hair stylist ever. At work, I've never worked so hard since Middlebury. We launched a new Website and had a relatively good year despite the economy. Still Colin and I weren't totally immune: there were budget cuts and pay freezes, but we made it through okay. We still feel so lucky and blessed to have amazing jobs, a beautiful home and supportive family on both sides to help get us through any challenges.

Next stop: Wedding Central, and I can't wait!

a dinner to help heal

We all have our ways of taking care of people we love. For me, it's cooking for them. It's the ultimate form of nourishment—for the body AND spirit. So when I found out my girlfriend was going through a rough time, I decided to host a little dinner party with her and another girlfriend to get her mind of things.

So tonight, my friends are coming over for dinner at 7:30. (Colin's now in London with Mark lucky goose). I'm making homemade sweet potato ravioli with sage and brown butter sauce (that's Lauren's amazing recipe!) and my absolute favorite EatingWell salad recipe, a spinach salad with warm maple dressing (I add an apple for good luck and use Shelburne Smoked cheddar cheese). And for dessert, I'm considering breaking out my torch for some creme brulee. Sounds good huh?

The nice thing about cooking for other people is that the cook gets to enjoy it too. :-)

feeling potty

I'm utterly engrossed in my work right now. In a good way. And I can't wait to be able to tell you all about it. But for now, you'll notice I'm away from my personal desk more than usual. (We all need a little escape from the computer screen!)

I took a break from it all this past weekend. One of my mostest friends Brooksie came to stay; my bestest sisters and mum in the world hosted the most amazing bridal shower for me; I got to see lots of family and girly friends; I was treated like a princess by everyone. It was incredible. Here's Brooksie at Leunig's wearing her new MJ tee:



And here's me at the shower opening my presents. Image courtesy of Kim. I was too busy to take photos this time. Thanks Kim!


(I got some really incredible gifts; it was rather overwhelming. People keep asking me what my favorite gift was, but they were just all so great, I really couldn't say, Sir!) We sat outside on the back lawn, sipped on spiked lemonade and nibbled yummy little treats including my favorite dried dates stuffed with Doe's Leap goat feta and pistachios. I was very nervous to have all that attention, but it ended up okay. Thank you to everybody near and far who came to my shower. It meant so much to me.

Well, a part from the amazing weekend where I was a lazy queen, I've been pretty busy. Mostly with work. But that hasn't stopped me from getting a gorgeous dinner on the table every night. The produce right now is just too wonderful to pass up. And as I know I've mentioned before, cooking helps me decompress after a long day at the computer.

Oh and they keep giving away food at work when they're done using it for photo shoots. Yesterday it was sweet corn on the cob. Tonight: heirloom tomatoes! Can you believe it? Here's the amazing dinner I made with them and some baby squash from the farmer's market. I cooked the squash in my new copper pot that Colin's mom gave us at the shower—Joan, the pot is unbelievably beautiful and it felt so good christening it with these beauties:

circus week

It's been a hot week in Burlington. I've had a circus at my house—extra cats, extra people—and it's been a circus at work too. I'm looking forward to a quiet weekend by myself, let everything settle, take a breather. Then next week we're off to Prince Edward Island to go to a wedding of an old college friend of mine. If you grew up watching Anne of Green Gables like I did, then you know how exciting this is for me. And it's the only real get-away that Col and I are taking before the wedding, so that's special too.

david byrne on the green

Last night, David Byrne performed live on the green at Shelburne Museum. A bunch of us went with our blankets and picnic dinner and hats and sweaters and umbrellas (though we didn't need them after all).

At dusk, David Bryne and his band and dancers came on stage and performed an amazing show. The first half was his new material—a collaboration with Brian Eno. The second half was all Talking Heads. It was Sapphire's first rock show and she loved every minute. When "Burning Down the House" came on she start laughing and chatting and pumping her legs. Everyone was going crazy, dancing and singing and clapping and shouting. By the time the show was over, the crowd was so riled up, we clapped and clapped and cheered. The band came back for 4 encores! And for one of them David Byrne and all of his back-up singers came out wearing white tutus on top of their suits.

Here are some of my favorite pictures from the evening (and here are some more):