Saturday, January 05, 2008

a quiet day to myself

It's Saturday. I didn't go riding today with Col, even though I really wanted to. As he was getting ready this morning, I lay in bed with the same feeling in my stomach that I used to get on Friday nights when I would stand at my window and hear groups of people laughing as they walked by on their way to a really fun night downtown. Meanwhile I'd be in my house by myself. Alone. I guess I got that feeling in my stomach this morning, because I was jealous. I really did want to go. I've been getting so much better at snowboarding, I kinda want to keep up the momentum. But then I took a couple of minutes to think about it and I realized that the real reason I had that feeling in my tummy was because I just didn't want to be left alone here.

That's when I knew I had to stay. Col and I spent so much time together over the holidays. And when we weren't together, then we were with family, or with friends. When you get in that kind of routine of always being around people, sometimes it's hard to realize the need to be alone. Then when you actually are alone, you notice the silence ten times more. It's easy to feel sad. But I need it. So I got up early, drove to Small Dog to get my power cord and now my computer is back in action and so am I! Suki really likes to sit on my belly while I type.

Next, I think I'll walk into town, get coffee. Then later, I think I'll finally take down the tree. It's time to cross some things off my list! There always tomorrow for the mountain...


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